Let’s get a little personal today. I want to talk about one of my biggest struggles – and something I see women doing all around me. This is something that for as long as I can remember I’ve been afraid to do and that’s take up space. But what does “taking up space” mean exactly?
To take up space means you don’t apologize for who you are – no matter the arena. It can be about voicing your opinion, looking the way you want to look, knowing what you deserve and not feeling bad about it. You are comfortable in your own skin and you’re not afraid to be “too” much for people.
We all have the right to take up space but do we have the courage? Because when you allow yourself to take up space you’ve stopped focusing on what other people think and you’ve started being your true, authentic self. That’s a major accomplishment for some and a lot of it stems from believing that you deserve the good that comes your way.
It can be overwhelming to be constantly so aware of how much space you take up. I know because I do it a lot. Sometimes I’m more comfortable blending in than standing out. And again, this stems from not feeling worthy or deserving. The moment you make space for other people is the moment you’ve placed their importance and well-being over yours. There is nothing wrong with caring for others but there’s no need to dim your light to do so. Whether you know what it is or not, I truly believe we all have a purpose for being and there’s no need to constantly justify it.
what I’m wearing
I have always been a person with big dreams and ambitions. I don’t settle and I’ve worked hard for what I have. But I also tend to make myself “small” to make others feel comfortable. I don’t always voice my opinions when I want to. And I hate being the center of attention or the girl in the room everyone is looking at. You wouldn’t know it but taking photos in public for this blog is extremely difficult for me. I always get into my head and wonder if people are thinking, “Who does she think she is?”. I’ve gotten a lot better at not caring but every now and again, I still let self-consciousness seep in.
It really all clicked for me when I realized that the expectations others have or may put on me have nothing to do with me but everything to do with them. I cannot make myself small so that it fits into what they believe is an acceptable version of me.
I really credit this blog for helping me have the courage to take up space. Here, I am free to write and wear and express myself however I please. I pour so much of who I am into this website that even though most of the time I write about fashion, it’s still a chronicle of my growth and the woman I am today. While I have my days when self-doubt creeps in, I don’t allow people to determine my self-worth. I am allowed to take up space and the things I have to say are valid. They come from experience, emotions, and simply who I am and what I stand for.
It’s worth mentioning that like all rights, taking up space shouldn’t be abused. Sometimes the best thing to do is listen – because we don’t always know best – and like all things, there’s a fine line between sharing your opinion and being obnoxious about it.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic and if you’ve ever made yourself smaller so that others would feel comfortable? Is this something you do all the time or depending on the situation? Let me know in the comments section below!
Happy Tuesday & until my next post!
photos by Emily Savage