When I shot this look it was meant to be an outfit idea for a girls’ night out. With Valentine’s Day coming up, I wanted to put together a look that’d be casual but a little fun for Galentine’s Day or drinks with the girls. But as I sat down to write this post I had a topic heavy in my heart that I had to chat about.
The term Girl Boss started as a way to celebrate women who defy pre-conceived notions and kick ass at their vocation. Somewhere along the line it became ALL about the hustle and if you weren’t working harder 24/7 then maybe you just didn’t want it bad enough. I’m a fan of the quote, “You can have it all, just not at the same time” because it’s so very true. There’s just no way one human being can do everything they want at 100% and feel like they’re devoting the necessary time for themselves. Beyoncé has 24 hours in a day just like the rest of us but honey she also has 240 more people working for her to help her out.
I am one of the biggest advocates for women killing it and working hard to accomplish their goals so I’m not taking anything away from Beyoncé cuz woman is the definition of a Girl Boss. I live for seeing my peers succeed and applaud my friends when I witness them surpass their dreams and go beyond what they thought was possible to achieve. What I’m not a fan of is the idea that we have to hustle 24/7 and “be on our grind” all the time to succeed as if that’s the only thing that matters in life.
I’ll admit, I’m 100% guilty of this. I have a bad case of perfectionism and you can often find me working until the wee hours of the night, but one thing I’ve started to do is give myself some grace. Women are mothers, daughters, sisters, wives, partners, step-moms, foster moms, mommas-to-be, aunts, CEOs, business owners, stay-at-home-moms, doctors, and everything in between. We all work just as hard as the next girl and our days are busy as hell. Our days our sometimes good, bad, and ordinary. We should not feel bad for days we just want to sit and relax.
When I walk my dog I listen to podcasts. When I wash the dishes I watch marketing videos. When I’m in the car I listen to audio books. I’m always multi-tasking and trying to learn more. There’s nothing wrong with that but the other day I felt wrong for watching an episode of Friends and not working on a blog post or answering emails. I rarely sit on the couch by myself and doing so just didn’t feel right. That’s when I realized something was really wrong and I was burning myself out.
I think when you have an entrepreneurial mind or your working hard toward a degree or a promotion, it’s natural to want to work extremly hard to accomplish your goal. That’s good because like they say, the dream is free but the hustle is sold separately. The problem is leaving little time for self-care and enjoying life. We have to stop being so busy making plans we forget to actually enjoy the process. I know we’re all guilty of constantly asking ourselves, “What else can I do?”
You can start by giving yourself grace when you need it. If working all the time is what feels right for you then, by all means, go for it girl but if you feel like that couch is looking mighty fine then sit for a bit. I’m learning to quit trying to be everything to everyone because, at the end of the day, I need to matter most. If I feel good then I can be a better wife, better employer, better dog mom, better whatever to the people I care about most. And I can be a better me for me too.
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What are your thoughts on this subject? I’m always curious to hear what other ladies are feeling and going through, as well as how you deal with this stigma.
Thanks for letting me vent! Until next post!